the quiet in the snow. that does it for me tonight. i'm brooke baldwin. thank you so much for watching. join me again next monday night on "in case you missed it." welcome to our viewers in the states around the world. exclusive adam lanza's aunt on the same day sandy hook was released. >> sandy hook school, i think there is somebody shooting in here at sandy hook school. >> what makes you think that? >> somebody has a gun and they are running down the hall way. they are still shooting. sandy hook school please. >> the first member of the family to speak out publicly and gives her reaction. a grieving father of a 6-year-old who tried to save his classmates.

and pastor rick warren and his message to the parents of sandy hook. >> a lot of people try to say everything that happens is god's will. that's nonsense. god allows everything, but does not choose everything. >> we begin with our big story with the sandy hook 911 tapes days before the first anniversary of the tragedy. marcia lanza, thank you for joining me. i am aware you are the first member of the lanza family to speak since this appalling shooting. first of all, let me get your reaction to the tapes. have you heard them and what do you feel about the release today? >> i've heard a portion of the tapes. i don't think the timing is right for them to be released. i think emotions are very raw and too soon. i believe they need to wait.

>> you are married to the brother of adam lanza's father. you didn't see adam lanza from when he was 3 years old, but stayed in touch with his mother, nancy. there many unanswered questions about what happened. as a member of the family, as a lanza, have you been able to work out in your mind what turned adam lanza into this mass killer? >> whoa. it's been very trying. as a family that has been shaken to the core, yes, we all have questions as well. we will never have answers as to why. was he a troubled child and did he get the help he needed? who knows. we look at the footsteps that were taken and yes, she did the best she could with what she had. money held him back from getting

the help she needed. i don't know where she was with her parenting skills. i don't know. >> you spoke to nancy lanza in the week leading up to the shooting. how did she seem? did she mention anything problems? >> no, she did not. she said the boys were fine and she was looking into further education for adam into washington. they were waiting to hear back. no inclination that anything was wrong or not right. >> she lot of her as well that day. nothing can compare to the horror suffered by the other families. what do you as a member of the lanza family, what would you say to the families who lost their children that day? >> my heart goes out to each and every family who has lot of a

child. personally i lot of two sons and i know what you feel and i know what you feel five years from now and ten year from now. it's getting to the point of moving on from day to day, one foot in front of the other and you will make it and become stronger because of it. you will never know why. you can't dwell on the bad times. you will get through and endure. if you can help someone else, that's part of the healing process. the ability to talk about it. if you won't talk, you won't heal. you can't stuff it. >> your husband, i believe has been in contact with adam lanza's father. does he have insight into how he happy coping? >> like any of us, it has been a real trial. my heart goes out to peter. i can only imagine what he was

enduring. i would be devastated. his life changed forever. he will never be the same. whatever actions goes, he's a good man and he's a survivor. it's going to take time. >> let me take you back to that awful day. how did you hear the news and what was your reaction when you discovered it was one of your own family who perpetrated this terrible crime? >> i was at home. i had the on only for noise, i wasn't watching it. i caught a glimpse that there had been a school shooting and i thought oh, no, not another one. i went to the living room to hear and they said newtown, connecticut. the address i had said sandy hook and not newtown. when i heard the names, i thought all right, ryan lanza, i have a enoughnephew and the aget

fit. i was not sure about newtown. then they said adam lanza and i called my husband and said you heard the news? i said go listen. call me back later and he did. has shaken the family to the core. >> it must be very difficult to just have your sur name in america, to be a lanza. it's an unusual name. do you get people instantly identifying you? how do people treat the family? >> for the most part people have been very kind to me. you don't realize how much use your name every day until you live a day where you use it and they look at you and you see the writing all over their face.

some say something and some don't. >> many people would be critical ofenancea lanza as a mother and as a parent. she knew her son had a mental illness and didn't seem to deal with it properly. the house was laden with guns. over six guns were found and she took this boy who was deeply troubled to shooting ranges and so on. do you think she deserves the criticism? you knew her. what do you think? >> no, i don't believe she deserves the criticism she has gotten. why do i say that? until you walked in her shoes as a parent of a special needs child, you don't know what she endured and dealt with on a daily basis. you don't know the help she received. was it the right thing to do to take him to the shooting range? i really don't know. i say that for the reason being why does anybody do anything they do? she may have taken him there thinking she could connect with

him, not realizing how bad things were. this is something that a light switch went off and he just lot of it? i don't know. i'm not a doctor. i'm only a parent. if you have a special needs child, i guess things should have been better stored or locked or whatever. >> you i believe had contact with nancy lanza on the very day of the atrocity via e-mail, is that right? >> yes. >> what did you say to each other? >> we were chatting about the boys and going to washington, moving into a possible school. >> she was really even then trying to deal with his problems. >> she didn't relay how bad things were or if they were that bad. >> what kind of woman was she?

nancy lanza? >> nancy was a gentle spirit and very kind and compassionate person. very generous. i always liked nancy. she was a good mom. really in tune to her kids. very thoughtful and loving. >> you see the picture that you are painting is one that many of her friends had said before. the criticism comes particularly on that point of her being in tune with her kids. she seemed to be unaware of the building tension and drama that was clearly playing out in adam's head which was compelling him to do this terrible thing. why do you think she was not able to spot that? >> i guess my whole thoughts on

the whole thing -- you can talk in front of a kid, but he will always remember how you made him feel. how did he feel at that very young age being not old enough to know what he was. he can't comprehend and the mom did the best she could with what he had. as the child moves up in the ranks of age and he's not getting the services he needs because nobody knows which way to go, what can you do? you do the best you have with what you have. >> for the families who lost love loved ones, it will be a difficult week coming up with the anniversary and the attention focused back on them. i'm about to interview one of the families, a man who lot of

his only son that day. what would you say on behalf of the lanza family to people like neal and the others as they still try to come to terms with what happened? >> i want to say on behalf of the lanza family, we are so sorry, but please don't judge the rest of us because of one. what he did was wrong and evil and only his maker will judge him, not the rest of us. it's not our place. as far as the families go, don't lose your faith. that's what will keep you going. >> i know this has been difficult for you, marcia lanza. thank you for coming out and speaking publicly, the first member of the lanza family to do it. it's not an easy thing to do. it's a horrendous time for you and your family. not as much as the poor families who lot of their lives that day, but i do appreciate you speaking to me.

>> you're welcome. >> when we come back, a father whose son died in sandy hook. he knows what it's like to deal with a tragedy. his message for the parents of

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neal struggles with sandy hook every day. his 6-year-old son jesse lewis died trying to help his classmates. first of all, your reaction to that interview with marcia lanza, the first member of the family of the shooter to come out and speak in public. what did you make of it?

>> i respect her for coming forth and speaking. i personally don't hold the family responsible for adam's actions. my heart goes out to the family the same as it does the other victims's families. i had the opportunity this past year to speak with mr. lanza. >> adam lanza's father. what was that meeting like for you? >> it was -- it felt good after i met with him and spoke with him. it was something i wanted to do and needed to do. it wasn't any answer to why it

happened or what could have been done to prevent it. he was a father that lot of a son as i did. i said that last year. he is carrying a bigger burden than i am. our loved ones will be honored and remembered for the tragedy. they are victims. his son will be remembered as a massacre killer. mr. lanza was a very nice, very caring, very respectful person. it was clear he was somebody who loved his son and cared about his son very much. >> do you think he knew his son had deep problems in his life? >> from what i understand, it

was clear he had some problems. he was stated that that was what happened and what adam had done was never something they could have expected in their wildest dreams. as with any of us. looking at the report that was released a week or two ago, i don't think adam's mother was afraid of him or felt threatened by him. the report was adam ruled the roost there. what adam wanted, adam got. >> have you been able to listen to any of the tapes? do you have intention of listening to them? >> i was aware of what was on a lot of the tapes.

i have listened to parts or majority of the tapes and the recordings. i wish they weren't released. it's just a sad reminder of what happened and clearly the day is etched in my mind. december 14th. from the time i left jesse really until the time we buried him. it's etched in my mind. the picture is there. it's at a very rough time and a hard time. the one-year anniversary is coming up. aside from that, we have christmas which was now a very difficult time for many. >> how will you deal with christmas this year. is it gone for you as something you can enjoy? >> probably the same way i dealt

with this t last year. you can only try to imagine what it is like to lose a child unless you have lost a child, you can't imagine. the best description i could give is it's like losing a leg and an arm and not being able to hold yourself up or support yourself. along with thinking about the tragedy and the massacre of what happened on december 14th every day, and hundreds of times a day i think about all the memories i was blessed to have with jesse. as for what i'm going to do this christmas, i really don't know. i will probably take the christmas tree down that i never took down from last year.

>> you had it up the whole year? >> we never decorated it. jesse and i set it up after and we were planning on decorating it that weekend. he wanted to get a collection of ornaments that he and i had that were our own. that was our plan for the weekend. we never were able to do that. >> the president of the united states came down to newtown soon after it happened and he promised that he would get action done on guns. as we sit here, he failed. nothing has been done to change any federal gun law in light of what happened. how do you feel as one of the parents about that? >> i don't think he failed. he has been very supportive along with the vice president towards the families of newtown. >> words enough from the leader

of your country. do you not want to see some legacy come out of this which actually goes some way to try to prevent it happening again? >> i do. it's not just a gun issue. there many things that have to change to make this change and to make this country a safer country. people have said it's not a gun issue. it's not gun violence. it's mental health issue. it's gun violence. it happened with a gun. mental health is a big part of it. there many aspects that have to be addressed down to the school security. looking at the report that came out from the state's attorney. adam was clearly somebody who had problems. how could you have identified him and gotten him more help? the way he lived, the way his

room was described and shown, his mother should have picked up on that and realized there was issues and underlying problems there. for him to insist she was not allowed in his room and for her to respect that, i think there is a lack of discipline there. as for taking him to the gun range, i think that was a poor choice, poor judgment. she clearly didn't feel threatened by him. he clearly had access to the weapons. there was no forced entry into the gun safe. so i feel that was in poor judgment. but i feel in time there will be changes that come.

through the background checks. i feel confident that that will come to the reality. i feel and see that the mental health is being addressed. school security already changed. something that should have been in effect long before this tragedy happened. >> it's good to see you again. it will be a tough week for you and all the families on a tough christmas for sure. i wish you all the very best with you and your family and talk to you again soon. >> thank you very much. member studio audience. bl [ male announcer ] this is george.

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welcome to our studio audience. he knows the pain of dealing with a family tragedy. his son killed himself and it was a trauma that led him to question god's plan. the grieving parents of sandy hook a year after their tragedy. >> good to be back with you. >> let me get your reaction to the release of these tapes from the sandy hook massacre. it's extremely a motive and a lot of controversy in newtown. what is your reaction to the fact the tapes were released and what do you feel for the family who is had to go through this. you yourself had to go through a terrible tragedy involving the death of your son and a gun in the last year.

>> anybody who heard these tapes has to identify with the emotions. it takes this whole issue out of simply a sterile news issue to the heart wrenching feeling of what would i do if as a parent i heard that my child had been shot? supposedly in a safe place in a school like that. particularly during the holidays. everybody is more sensitive in the holidays. my heart goes out to the parents and the 52 em who had to receive the calls and the first responders. all of the people, that terrible crisis brings it fresh a year later. how this was as you know the second biggest shooting, single shooting in american history next to virginia tech. my first -- when i hear these

things, i pray for the families. i pray that god will give them any comfort in this season that i am expecting god to give me comfort in the loss of my own son. >> i was told that your wife had been invited to speak on the anniversary of sandy hook. is that true and how did you feel about that? >> it is true and i'm praying for kay who i know i talked to her earlier and she is studying for that. she could not say no. there was a mom and to be invited to speak, there was a bible study that last year as you mentioned in the news, she was joined. >> what do you say to any of the families from sandy hook who lot

of their children that day in particular and indeed the six adult who is died as well. what do you say from a religious faith point of view to bring any comfort? when i speak to them tom has not been a healer yet. >> yeah. the first thing we need to say is god is grieving too. a lot of people try to make it sound like everything that happens is god's will. that is nonsense. god allows everything, but he doesn't choose everything. if i choose to sin, god didn't make me do that. god didn't cause matthew to take his life. matthew took his life. everybody is in a crisis whether it's a tornado or hurricane or shooting or anything. we are either going to run to god or run away from god. probably about half as many do either. i found that running away doesn't bring comfort.

when we look for explanations in the tragedies, we never find them. you have to say a year later, are you over it? you never get over it. i cried every day since matthew died. every day of my life. that is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength and a sign of love and a sign that i care. the death of my son made me more sensitive and more compassionate. i can tear up pretty easily when i hear about someone else going through something. my heart goes out to these people. >> it has been a few months since we sat down with you and your wife, kay. extraordinary reaction that touched a nerve. to have somebody whose job on a daily basis is comforting everybody else to suddenly have this awful tragedy of the suicide of your son pick you as a family really resonated with people.

how are you coping since i spoke to you last? are. >> i'm doing the same things we talked about in that interview. i am spending a lot of time not just with friend who is support me, but also solitude. in prayer, in thinking, in grieving and when i feel an emotion, i let it come out. if you shake-up a coke bottle and you don't let it out, it's going to come out sideways. grief is actually a good thing. it helps us get through the transitions of life. it helps us make through the difficulties and so what i have been spending a lot of time doing lately is helping other people. when we did that interview, people who either had a family member who was mentally ill or had family member who had taken their life came out of the woodwork or follow me on facebook or twitter or instagram or e-mails.

both kay and i have received and i'm not exaggerating, tens of thousands of letters and calls and notes from i get it. i know what you are going through. many types i don't have an answer for these people. i understand. i understand what you are going through. >> let me play a clip. this is kay talking in the interview we did together about matthew and the issue of guns. >> when did he finally get it? >> a month before he took his life. >> do know ho he got it? >> he told me everything. he told me that he found somebody finally on the internet who would sell it to him and it had to be encrypt and it was a prosays and he begged him to help him. there so many moments of terrible choices with mental illness. >> even since then, we have seen other incidents. the naval yard shooting and the

suicide of the virginia senator. a lot of incidents come back it seeps to this lethal cocktail of mental illness and ready availability of guns. no one seems to be tackling this. how do you get to grips with this? >> one of the reasons why it's hard to tackle is because there so many guns out there. in the first place, there almost as many guns in america as there people. 300 million plus guns. i can't see any foreseeable future. we will be able to pull them back from law-abiding citizens. the constitution allows them to have it. while i may not be able to do everything, what can we do to keep guns out of the hands of mentally ill people? i don't care if you are conservative or liberal. everybody will grieve.

guns do not belong in the hands of a mentally ill person. >> the great super power of the world, a year after 12 elementary school children were blown to pieces in their classrooms and the president stood there later and said i will take action and here we are a year later and absolutely nothing has been done. nothing. no background checks put in. no ban on assault weapons and ban on high capacity magazines. nobody in washington has done anything about it. the debate more than anything else. >> i don't know how they are going to attack it because -- there people out there not getting the help they need.

since the reagan administration, the number of facilities and the beds for mentally ill people have dropped. we can get the statistic, but it is 10-fold easily. >> it's scandalous. >> it is. >> we are carrying less and less. if you care about homeless people, you have to care about mental illness. if you care about police people dealing with people on the streets, you have to care about mental illness. they will tell you that a lot of crimes are about mental illness. if you care about vets returning home, you have to care about mental illness. they are dealing with post traumatic stress syndrome. it touches far more areas than that person is crazy. right now who is caring for them is the families. we talked about them before, there is not enough support for families. the pendulum swung the other way

to care for the individual rights of privacy. i had a son who my son gave me permission to talk to the doctors about his mental illness and gave kay permission and the doctors wouldn't talk to us for fear of lawsuits. i'm going that is just wrong. >> let's take a break and talk about your new book and how it saved your life. day we're workio be an even better company - and to keep our commitments. and we've made a big commitment to america. bp supports nearly 250,000 jobs here. through all of our energy operations, we invest more in the u.s. than any other place in the world. in fact, we've invested over $55 billion here in the last five years - making bp america's largest energy investor. our commitment has never been stronger. to help secure retirements

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it's hard to describe, because you have a numbness, but yet you have the pain like thousands of needles sticking in your foot. it was progressively getting worse, and at that point i knew i had to do something. once i started taking the lyrica the pain started subsiding. [ male announcer ] it's known that diabetes damages nerves. lyrica is fda approved to treat diabetic nerve pain. lyrica is not for everyone. it may cause serious allergic reactions or suicidal thoughts or actions. tell your doctor right away if you have these, new or worsening depression, or unusual changes in mood or behavior. or swelling, trouble breathing, rash, hives, blisters, changes in eyesight including blurry vision, muscle pain with fever, tired feeling, or skin sores from diabetes. common side effects are dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain and swelling of hands, legs and feet. don't drink alcohol while taking lyrica.

don't drive or use machinery until you know how lyrica affects you. those who have had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse lyrica. ask your doctor about lyrica today. it's specific treatment for diabetic nerve pain. >> millions of people wanted to step to a purpose-driven life and now setting sights on america's obesity problem. 14 days to a healthier life. joining me with the coauthor, welcome to you gentlemen. a trilogy here. coming at me from all fronts. a trilogy. what is this all about?

what is the daniel plan and how do you get me healthier. >> diet plans are simplistic because they deal with food and fitness. human beings are far more complex. it's not always what you eat, but what eats you that can affect your health. we took a larger approach of what we called the five fs. faith and that is my motivation behind getting healthy. focus is how i need to think to be healthy. friends which is i don't get healtho my own. i need other people. then food, eating correctly and then fitness. we added in what we call the adding in the issues of motivation and the community that is helping you and how you think about changing your way in

all three of these areas. >> i pray every week to lose weight and nothing ever happens. i'm not sure god is listening to me. >> let's get on our knees right now together. >> how many people in the audience have tried to diet? of those, how many have been completely successful in keeping the weight down after the diet. a lot fewer hands. congratulations to those i think i saw a hand back here. it's incredibly difficult. you yo-yoed in weight all your life. it's interesting before we started. you were hit by big issues this year. it hit many people and caused weight increase. you had a back injury and a loss in your family. >> i slept for months afterma u matthew died. i lot of 65 from my goal of 90 and actually after matthew died,

i gained about about 35 back because i was in the hospital. i will prove twice this plan works. it all started, i get a book about a decade. >> each one. it's in print. >> this was on physical health and the reason why i sdofed that a lot of people want to change and make changes in their life, but they don't have the energy. i would like to work on my marriage and my finances and i would like to work on my career and all these things. i come home at night and i am worn out and i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. i don't have the energy to change. if i can get the energy level up, i can work on these things. >> i will be mr. skeptic. why should spirituality and the power of prayer and any of that stuff have any effect on my

ability to be fit or lose weight? >> what's extraordinary is that people change together in the community. when you look at the science of behavior change, people change together. we get better together. the science of changing biology and how to get healthy is easy. you exercise and you take care of yourself. how do you get people to change their behavior is the secret. it's a social power of the networks. you are more likely to be overweight if your friend's friend's friend is overweight. the social threads are more important. >> let me bring in the doctor. you are a psychiatrist. really we are getting into your world. how are you going to convince people in their heads, never mind anything else, to come and do this? if this is the master plan, you have to persuade them. >> there 140 studies that say as your weight goes up, the actual physical size and function of your brain goes down. >> that scared me. >> is that true?

>> that's true. >> your brain gets smaller as you get fatter? >> i published two of the studies. >> fat is something called inflammatory. >> something in my stomach. >> that's what rick said. he wasn't getting healthy for his heart and not looking at him. he's already sexy. what he understand is that his influence comes from the health of his brain. 70% of americans are overweight. this is the biggest brain drain in the history of the united states. as we're unhealthy, we are not making good decisions. >> i want to know in 40 days, how much weight if i stick rigidly to the trilogy, how much i'm going to lose.

♪ nothing says, "you're my #1 copilot," like a milk-bone biscuit. ♪

i. my guest has the daniel plan, 40 days to a healthy life. i want to start with a question

here from which one of the members of our audience. over there. what's your question? >> i'm a nurse practitioner and i am wondering if i should advise my patients to wait until after the holidays for the 40 days. >> lose weight through the holidays. >> how? i want to eat, drink, and be merry. how am i going to eat, drink, and be merry with scrooge? get down to the gym! >> who has more fun? the person with the good brain or the bad brain? are. >> the person with the good bottle of jack daniels. >> there is a difference between deprivation and good decisions. >> this is about abundance. it's about giving up stuff that is not healthy for you. you can have a fabulous meal and splafr without having to give up anything. that's the point. >> every 6th week, i feel a

craving to march through mcdonald's and have a big mac and large fries. i do it religiously. does it matter? >> start reading the labels. get on the internet. >> i like it. >> of course. >> even though i know it's terrible for me. >> they have food scientists that combine the fat, sugar and salt and the preservatives to work on the nuclear center in your brain to get you addicted. >> it's not really a conventional diet. it's more about the psychology. tell me what are you hoping? many have tried and failed with diets. what is the key take away here from this book that can change things. >> eat real food. it's probably not good for you. it was created by nature or god, it's probably good for you. nuts, seeds, beans, and whole grains.

>> simple as that. >> what about meat? can you eat as much meat as you like? >> meat, chicken and fish. >> what are the no-nos? >> sugar and flour and high fructose corn syrup and msg. the abundant things that are driving addiction. >> people are saying oh, no, i love donuts. >> that's not love, that's addiction. >> what do you think is the most effective thing for you in terms of losing weight? >> three things. one is i got in a group. we have 7,000 small groups at saddle back church that every one we put a health champion in each group to help people through the daniel plan. by doing it in community, it's like having your accountability and support group. that's one. second, change the motivation. the motivation was never enough motivation on i want to look

good and feel good. i take this from a spiritual viewpoint. god created my and jesus died for my and the spirit lives in my body so he better expect me to take care of it. when daniel began to talk about the influence of woor health on your brain, that's something i cared about. i cared about that. >> i don't want my brain shrinking. >> me neither. it's not enough simply to do food and fitness. you have to do focus, change the way you think, you have to do friends and get support groups and do faith. that is what is your motivation bigger than i want to look good. >> fascinating stuff, gentlemen. it will be a big hit. 40 days to a healthier life. thank you all very much indeed. are you ready for this?

rick, a final question for you. how will you be spending christmas as a family? >> christmas, there three purposes and three things that the angels said. i bring you good news and great joy. and peace on earth good will towards men. i try to do those three things. celebration, salvation, reconciliation. that's how i spend christmas. >> a surprise in your seats. you will see copies of both of rick's books.

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warren and his coauthors. the new book is the dam plan, 40 days to a healthier life. the new late night on 11:00 at the 11th hour followed by brooke baldwin with in case you missed it. good evening, everyone, breaking news tonight. somebody out there may have the makings of a radioactive dirty bomb achl missing container of cobalt 60 has been found, but no word if all the contents has been accounted for. the last time people